Modern Marriages: A Crisis of Identity and Values. -

Written by Adetoroniginnigin

13th November 2024

Modern marriages? What is marriage?

Most people and religious leaders especially in Africa have no clear understanding of what is marriage in different contexts and cultures globally.

Globally, every religion invented their own concept of marriage and imposed it on women who are still view and treated as executive house-keepers and propagation materials to have children for men and increase societal population hence women are treated differently in all areas of social, political and economic development.

Women’s body are targeted as materials for manufacturing new products and as women are the targeted consumers of most products used to redesign women images to suit various types of men’s flavour.

Unfortunately the

genzis people especially the millenniums have been robbed of self-value and are mostly under-going body-deconstruction in response to new market products -blow buttocks, blow breasts, blow lips, blow eye lashes and are moving galleries of cheap sex markets.

Very painful to watch how women have sexualised themes so cheaply and lost self-esteem. They have no good leadership traits of their ancestors as majority now take pride in wearing masks make-ups and look alike so no visible individualised natural beauty we once possessed in African-Black woman.

The millennial population call each other babe so no male and female in most new age households marriages.

I think, African -Blacks have gone backwards and ridiculing who they are Majority are undergoing cultural inferiority complex and redefining themselves as not belonging to Africa and have no sense of identity so there is huge identity and belonging crisis amongst the new genzes.

Africans especially Nigerians adopt other peoples cultural values without having a true understanding of those cultures. Anyway, the new genzis and most of their parents have no cultural and self-valuing ethos as most people never understood who they are.

Marriage should not be about disengagement with families but embracing each other’s families. It is not about families lording themselves as little lords over each other but about giving and taking, about mutual respect, mutual care, mutual support are what I met in Yoruba culture in the 1940’s to 1950’s.

Unfortunately, When the “Beentos” people arrived back from England where they went to school as secretaries, nurses, lawyers, doctors they borrowed and brought the cultural values they failed to investigate and understand with them and tried mimicking those cultural values that were not properly adapted to our own culture hence “things started falling apart”and it is now “No long at ease”

Most mothers/ older women and men of today were the “ Sowanbes”. The men then subjected working women to sexual abuses in their offices before and after recruiting them as workers in the Secretariat ministries and departments. Those men then are now the ones we call grandpas in ages between 70’s and 100+ now, some are dead.

These men are who I refer to as “Dirty Old Men”.

Some of them are clergy men in churches and mosques, Head-teachers/Principals in schools, colleges and universities.

These days, how could the gensis and millennium people have any valuable marriages when their own patents & grandparents developed shameful cultural values they were born into?

Some of today’s generations were witnesses to their immediate ancestral dirty sexuality values.

The erosion of our early ancestors cultural values started sometimes ago. What cultural values have we left in terms of respect for women and marriages?

Nowadays, women have no self-respect for their bodies hence the extremism in dressing modules we all see growing around us daily

We have left our ancestors elegant dress modules for foreign market-religious modules.

Our ancestors marriage, family and religious modules:

Children used to live and eat together, worked together and support one another. No child was ever referred to as bastered

No woman was derogated and referred to as a concubine living outside family home and brought up her children alone/single mother;

Western and Eastern Slavery & Colonialism marriage and family modules:

Western marriage module is One wife in the house & many unknown children dotted about and are referred to as bastards. SHAME!!

Adapted Arabic marriage module used by Nigerian men is not equivalent to Arabs original marriage module.

Nigerian men misinterpreted Arabic marriage to isolate women woman and denied them of social lifestyle for total controlling. Women are subjected to foreign weather cultural clothing of masquerade look-alike.

Dress module 1:

Expose it all and let your breast be in view of every one, pad and role your padded bottom as cinema for everyone to view.

Dress module 2:

Cover it all and be like a masquerade and accept the heat boiling the body in the heat of sunshine.